soapbox du jour

I don't want to be the girl that only blogs when she is angry, I'd like to say happy things too. And there is plenty to be happy about-the sunshine and beautiful weather, the weekend, the delicious pad thai that I just made, i somehow managed to sleep ten hours last night, my week long migraine has disappeared, the wonderful people in my life...

last night I was chatting with one of those wonderful people, my roommate laura. we were talking about all sorts of things and eventually landed on how people generalize or stereotype based on race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, etc. this is a BIG no no in my book. I know, I know-I can't claim that I never do this, but it still bugs the ____ out of me. I guess it isn't so much the generalizing or stereotyping in general because people will argue that there is some truth in them, that they came from somewhere. agreed (to an extent...because if you keep using them you are perpetuating that stereotype and not letting yourself see anything else). but what I really hate is when people say things like, "that's gay" or "that's jewish" or "you're using bluetooth? are you black now?" seriously, wtf is that about?

and people in my life say this stuff all the time! that is the sad part! i used to just get pissed off about it and think how can I actually be friends with people that make inappropriate comments like that, or equate homosexuality with stupidity or jewishness with being cheap. i had a hard time saying something because i can't explain why it makes me mad, or why it affects me (a heterosexual white woman) when someone says something bad about gay or black people. i didn't know what to say besides i know with every part of my being that it is wrong. instead of letting dumb comments like this eat away at me, i've decided to start saying something to these people. as laura and I were discussing, these people just laugh and say" i'm just kidding," or "you are overreacting." why is it that this makes me too sensitive, why am i the one with the problem?

I just finished reading this article in the New York Times about two young men that committed suicide because people were calling them gay. One of them was eleven. I recognize that these kids are in middle school and maybe they don't know that this isn't okay, maybe their parents haven't taught them to not say this, or maybe they learned it from their parents. I was like them then, too. I remember when I used gay as a synonym for boring or dumb or whatever (be assured I did not learn that from my mother). I regret that I used to talk that...

the article, or blog rather, says that calling people (more like their characteristics, behaviors, fashion choices) gay is a way of "policing" masculinity. here's the thing...if being smart, a good dresser, sensitive, someone who likes to cook, a good dancer, someone that likes to read, or unusual makes you gay, then bring on the gays! i'm not too pleased with the masculine lately, i know there are some wonderful men out there, but i'm not seeing them. i need some positive examples of masculinity in my life. i want to change my opinion about them, i really do.

am i overreacting? am i getting upset about a word? if young men are killing themselves because people are torturing them with that word, I don't think so.